9 Oct 07

my nails have grown long AGAIN. I have to cut it like once every two to three days.
so many things have happened! time seems to travel faster now..with homework, friends, practising and everything.
fall break is here! but its too short. way too short! i want a longer holiday! now i cant wait for thanksgiving.
anw i wanted to blog about many things. i have really bad memory. each time i think of something i want to blog, by the time i blog, i'd have forgotten. hahha
funny things first. i was at the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra opening night. It was a glam day with red carpet lined outside the doors of Eastman Theatre. It really felt like hollywood since eastman had those lights shining as well. Joelle and I decided five minutes before the concert that we would go so we had no time to change. We were the most underdressed ppl. unglamness. We tried really hard to walk with pride, dignity adn confidence. ha-ha. Joelle comforted me by saying "its ok la, you are wearing a skirt". I was like "but jean skirt....?" everyone was in makeup and glam gowns. haha to think in singapore, SSO opening nights are just another flip-flops-acceptable kinda event. haha anw, a kind lady at the door gave us complimentary tickets since she had extra.
As i was watching the concert i thought of alot of things. hmm. firstly i thought abt how wendy mentioned that one of the freshman percussionist...when he plays the timpani, he blinks everytime. hahahahha this is funny. i would have thought that percussionist would be immune to such things.
I also realised that the louder the music is played, to the extent that it engulfs you, my eyelids will be as if i am hypnotised....it will droop and i will uncontrollably start closing my eyes. this is so weird! normally ppl dont slp at loud parts.... =S
after the concert, they had a reception. it was so cool, with high class desserts and ballroom dancing. being so underdressed i was feeling even more awkward. ahem. i saw an elderly couple dancing together. i think that was really sweet. hmm.
after that we had dim sum with ricardo, lina, steph, emma and nat!
so on sunday! lina and ricardo went with us to church! i'm glad they came...and then we went to lina's house to celebrate ricardo's birthday. it was really fun...from hiking (which reminded me so so so much of OBS) to going to the beach to eating and the peniacle ( whatever the spelling) and and campfire and the emo-ing in the voice mimking green forest, my home way too cool.
hmm i enjoyed the beach alot. i wasnt feeling particularly the best. I broke a promise to God. I dont think anyone would feel too pleased with themselves. but anw, i saw the beach, the massive ocean in front of me, the sound of the waves. I was standing on top of a rock. Wind was blowing, my hair was flying. I felt. Wow, this is God's work. It gave me an incredible feeling. I was listening particularly attentively to the sound of waves. I tried comparing it to music. is it comparable? The sound of nature. ah...indescribable.dunno. i felt peaceful. i was walking along the beach. i thought of a chinese pop song. then decided that no. the sound of waves is the most suitable for this walk. haha in a distance, i saw john walking with his music gadget, listening to his songs inside. haha dunno.
i just feel that my delayed reactions are getting more and more delayed. I wasnt happy. Havent been happy except when I start talking crap. Sometimes I really wonder if I do or dont think at all. We were at 14th floor one night looking down at the scenery, the surroundings. It was truly a great time to emo. But nothing came. nothing. I only felt it from before I went to church. Thats a good delay of half a day. wow! i'm amazed.
haha i think i'm weird, getting weirder by the day. gosh.
and i really think i'm getting better at ignoring things, numbing them, convincing myself to let it go. haha well well, i've been practising this letting go thing for say almost 2 years? so applying it to other things shouldnt be a problem. haha
this is indeed a serious post. playing jian dan the ge while typing this is not helping.hmm
i think i need to stop typing haha. it gets qutie bad. i'm not laughing yet i haha things. the result is that when i really want to portray that i'm laughing, i go HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. wo.
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
And I will be complete in You.
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord.
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day,
And I will be complete in..
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And I pray I will hold on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You
i havent heard this song since 2 years ago...cos i didnt dare to.